a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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