Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
