Kiss
Puke
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
