I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
