Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
