well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
