just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
