Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
