I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
