Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
