this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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