i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
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