You were right. It hurts to walk today.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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