Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
