I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
