Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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