And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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