What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
