i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Bring me that man meat
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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