I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
