I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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