I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
