Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
