Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
