I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
