i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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