when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
If I die, sorry about rent.