Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.