the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.