Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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