Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.

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(407): View more from Florida

I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises

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(973): View more from New Jersey

so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement

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(904): View more from Florida

SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.

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Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(480): View more from Arizona

We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.

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(602): View more from Arizona

I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?

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(352): View more from Florida

The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.

(1-352): View more from Florida

Oh God. You're going to jail

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(234): View more from Ohio

For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.

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