Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.

Fav 59 1554 6712
share tweet
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....

Fav 26 1013 3208
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.

Fav 16 1173 4521
share tweet
(612): View more from Minnesota

I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.

Fav 40 1538 7411
share tweet
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(564): View more from Washington

He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns

Fav 13 5284 2017
share tweet
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.

Fav 11 4821 1293
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(573): View more from Missouri

Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...

Fav 4 1282 966
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(607): View more from New York

I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out

(253): View more from Washington

why what happened?

(607): View more from New York

Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.

Fav 9 982 534
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(720): View more from Colorado

The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake

Fav 1 61 14
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT