thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
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Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake