This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
