Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
