I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
