I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
