my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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