y did u give ur computer a hand job?
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize