God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
