So drunk its hurt
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
vagina is talking i cant
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
