NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
