is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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