the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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