His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
