I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she looked like the before picture.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
