Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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