what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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