O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize