he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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