Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
