YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
