nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize