Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
