i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
