even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
