I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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