More tranny stories later!
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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