talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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