Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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