i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
