I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
