if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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