I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize