super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Randomize
